Skiing: A Metaphor for Happiness in Life
by Paul Leslie Hokemeyer, J.D., M.A.

I just returned from a holiday of skiing out in Colorado's Rocky Mountains. If you haven't been, I encourage you to go. The majesty and strength of the landscape inspires wonder and the crisp and clean mountain air invigorates the soul.

And while I confess I find the mountains inspirational and impressive, I must also confess that I am definitely a sand and surf kind of a guy. For me the mountains are stimulating, but the ocean is intoxicating. There is nothing quite as meditative as feeling the surf as it massages the shoreline or listening to the waves as they fall against the sand. But although I prefer the coastline and the ocean, I also discovered that there is much to be learned from the sport of skiing and being in the frigid outdoors.

For instance, there are several ways in which the sport of skiing is a wonderful metaphor for a leading a happy and healthy life. Since the New Year is upon us, I thought it would make sense to outline a few of these points.

In my experience, I've found both happiness and skiing require a certain amount of preparation. As a sport, skiing requires its participants to anticipate the day before them and to obtain the appropriate equipment. In a similar fashion, happiness requires those who live it, to cultivate a readiness for life.

Those of you familiar with skiing know far too well the time and effort that goes into mapping out the terrain, and gathering up the boots, the gloves, the hats, the sunscreen, the poles, the skis and of course the layers and layers of technical cloths that will enable you to endure, engage and enjoy your time on the mountain. For those of you who have never skied, just trust me—just getting on the mountain requires an enormous amount of work!

Now isn't this similar to what makes for a happy and healthy life? Don't we, as human beings, need to map out who we want to be, what we want to be doing and where we want our lives to go? In short, happiness requires a certain amount of intentional creation.

In my work, I consistently hear people who struggle with depression and anxiety complaining of feeling powerless, choiceless, overwhelmed and just plain lost. They lack a map that would put a container around their lives and protect them from the constant demands of others. Without a map of what motivates or discourages them, what qualities they admire in themselves and others and the dreams they hold in their heart, they stumble through life feeling lost and confused, unaccomplished and longing for a more fulfilling existence.

So happiness, like skiing, requires not only a map but also some basic equipment. First among these, are intellectual and emotional curiosities.

Individuals who have a continuous desire to learn and grow are able to adapt and respond to the constant changes and cycles of life's terrain. Like a skier, they need a willingness to embrace the challenge of the mountain and a desire to learn how to glide over the difficult patches of ice and through the weight of newly laid snow.

Without a doubt, both happiness and skiing require a person to possess a certain level of flexibility. In the journey of life, as in the tracks of a skier, physical, emotional and psychological suppleness is key. Conditions on a mountain change by the minute. It could be warm and sunny at the bottom and bitterly cold and blinding on top. Even the snow on a mountain changes through out the day. It may be fresh, and powdery soft when you start, but a slick sheet of ice as you head down to finish.

And doesn't life also hold the potential to change in an instant? Think of those times when you are feeing safe and secure and the news of a disappointment or disaster robs you of that feeling. How you respond to the emotional shift is directly related to your ability to maintain and reclaim a happy emotional life. Do you freeze up and remain rigid, clinging to the past and deny the new reality or do you allow yourself to feel the integrity of the emotions and accept them as part of life's constant ebb and flow?

Just as successful skiing requires flexibility, reclaiming our happiness requires us to feel the flow of our emotions and ride them; and, to recognize that this is just a moment in time that soon shall pass.

And where would a skier be without a sense of humility, and the ability to laugh oneself? In order to stay on the mountain and in the game of life we must be willing to chuckle through our inevitable falls and foibles.

As a person who started skiing later in life, I know all too well how humbling it can be to be prostrate, flat out on my back on the mountain, while children a third of my age fly—disrespectfully—by! If I couldn't laugh at my self and get back up and try, try again, I wouldn't have a moment's chance of being an accomplished skier—or of leading a happy and rewarding life.

And the same applies to our human existence. Slips and falls, mistakes and stumbles are a part of the journey. They tell us we are alive and a part of the mysterious and often frustrating process on Earth that makes up the fullness of our life.

So just like a skier chooses to be on the mountain, we have a choice in how we want to react to and manifest our lives. We may not have a say in all the causes and conditions that come at us, but we can directly impact how we fashion our response. Like a skier responding to the terrain, we can cultivate within us a sense of curiosity, flexibility, humility and humor as we embrace life's challenges and wonders. I hope you chose to make the journey towards happiness. I hope you chose to live in the fullness of your life.

Paul Leslie Hokemeyer is an Attorney and Therapist who is completing his Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology while working at the Caron Treatment Center's New York City office (http://www.caron.org) in the areas of substance abuse and Co-Dependency. He welcomes your questions or comments at phokemeyer@caron.org.

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