MonTalk©
with Ingrid Lemme

Dream Quote of the Month:  “You may have tangible wealth untold; Caskets of jewels and coffers of gold. Richer than I you can never be - I had a mother who read to me.       ~ Strickland Gillilan (1869-1954)

Dream Woman of the Month: Peggy Keller

Dream Man of the Month: Gene Hamilton

Dream Kid of the Month: Little Marcus Oransky

Good Friends of the Month: Daisy and Donald

Couple of the Month: Darren and Leah Boyle

Dream Business of the Month: Keeshan Inc.

Organization of the Month: Montauk Lions Club

Dear Reader,

The morning my mother-in-law died, a robin sat in front of the main entrance door for a little rest, despite our always lingering cats, Waffles and Bacon. The bird was in no hurry nor was it all afraid of the cats and they seemed to accept its presence, too. It finally flew across the street to the dunes. The day was July 4th, 2003 a Friday in the Christian Calendar and mom was a Christian. A few moments earlier my brother-in-law had called from the Oregon hospital with the sad news, he was at her side when she drew her last breath. My husband and I had prayed that the God of our understanding would take her home quick, she was suffering badly. So many arrangements were to be made! Being 4th of July weekend, flights were jam-packed, and we can only imagine what our brother, our son and the step - sisters and brothers in Oregon had to go through. They'd arranged the funeral for Sunday the 6th.

Then, on Saturday July 5th, at 2 am we left the house to travel to JFK airport. A little bird flew in the darkness and sat on the front step while my husband locked the garage door in the back of the house. I have never seen a bird flying in the darkness before and I was for sure too tired to tell him about the bird.

Later, at the graveside, a pretty little red robin circled over the coffin and then overhead as the three sons and their step brothers carried the coffin to its pretty home under a good old shade tree. The sun was shining bright and warm, the bird sitting on the branch above the grave.

The boys were in PAIN! Emotional, eternal, wrenching pain. The kind of pain that made Mom's kids feel as if someone has reached inside of them and ripped out every fiber of their being. Nevertheless, we all knew there wasn't a thing any of us can do to make it stop.

They were sobbing, so was I. Even though every holiday and every Mother's Day will be very painful for all, I wouldn't trade my memories of Mom's 80th surprise birthday bash for the world. She took me aside and thanked me for 'putting up' with her son and for making him so very happy:) !

A couple of days later on the way back to Portland airport we stopped at one the most amazing west coast overlooks one can find, a clear day, sunny and warm. A little robin landed right next to us on the bluff. He looked at us, didn't move, didn't pick in the ground as birds do. It just sat there and looked. In its eyes the one big truth: "Pace yourself, even an elephant can be swallowed, one bite at a time."

I myself didn't receive the grace to bury my biological father or my adored grandmother. Now I gave myself permission to sob. I knew that it was OK to feel whatever I was feeling. It is all part of healing. They say. I have my own memories in my heart. The loving, hardworking woman that she was. The country woman who knew how to make soap, milked cows and baked tons of pancakes. The woman who gave birth to three of the most amazing, different male beings ever created. They are now all that is left, and the love inside our hearts. I'll miss you, Mom.

~ Love Ingrid  

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Ingrid's award-winning American Dream Show (filmed at Gurney's Inn in Montauk) is aired prime-time to 5 million households on Hamptons TV® and watched throughout New York, New Jersey and Westchester. Viewers world-wide are watching Hamptons TV and the American Dream Show in real-time by logging on to www.HamptonsTV.com. Hamptons TV® is broadcasting on UHF Channel 50, Cablevision 78, Verizon FiOS Channel 14 and on Time Warner's new Video On Demand Channel