I was standing in line at white's pharmacy in Montauk waiting twenty minuates to buy a New York Post contenplating stealing some NY Jet keychains just out of general principle when I realized I've been talking to myself the whole time I was in there. I realized this because the old lady in front of me looked at me and snarled "that's not normal!". At first I thought she meant the smell that was exuding from my bowels after a hard night of drinking. I've always talked to myself ever since I was a kid, but it's gotten really bad in the last few years. I got lucky when the blue tooth was invented, not that I use one, but I look that much less crazy now when I'm walking down the street. I don't know why I do it, sometimes I'm going over material in my head, but most times it's just having a conversation with myself. So if you see me talking to myself, let me be. I promise I'm talking to any voices in my head that are telling me to burn down the building.

I think the biggest culprit for the self conversation is doing radio. Ever since I stopped doing my radio show out of a station and in my house I'll be honest with you the quality has gone down since I've stopped having to where pants to work. And it gets weird when I have guests. Sometime I don't read the stories through when I prep because honestly I'm hung over a lot and sometimes it bites me in the ass. I was doing a story out of Kenya about a man show was walking through the tundra when out of no where a giant snake came out of a tree and scooped him up. The way the story read I knew the man survived, but I didn't know how. It said with his last breath he took a bite out of the snake and it loosened his grip enough so he could free his hand and reach for his....wait for it....cell phone. Are you shitting me! If country has money for cell phone towers, your country has money to get rid of the giant snakes. There should be an order. 1- get rid of things that can eat us. 2-get the new blackberry. Who the hell his gonna call anyway!

Now that the show is going back into syndication, you can catch it at richardcraniumradio.com starting in July, I've been using all the social networks to promote it and I've come to realize I'm hooked on Facebook like a twelve year old girl. When I first got on I didn't know what all the applications were. The first day I was on I was invited to a bar fight, I was like YEAH! Then I found out it was a cyber bar fight. I don't want to cyber bar fight I want to hit someone with a freakin chair! I like the superpoke the best. You can throw crap at people, bubblewrap people, which is great because I've actually bubblewrapped people before. The only problem with Facebook is anybody can find you. I've been traveling doing comedy for over fifteen years, I don't want to get a friend request from some ten year old in Michigan because I "knew" his mother.

This comes out of the "some people just need a beating" file. I was sitting at a bar I work at waiting to dj when some joker in a run dmc hat walks in. He starts talking to the owner about how he knows he can do a great job and packed the place on sunday night. The same sunday night we've been packing them in for ten years. I had this problem in key west all the time, a dj walks in talking about how he can pack the club and when you ask him what night he wants to do he says saturday. Really you can fill a club on a Saturday, you must be awesome. Back to the current assclown. He says I hear you got some guy vinny k, well I never heard of him, I work for party 105. Party 105! I'd rather watch the elderly have intercourse than listen to f#*%in party 105! I do syndicated radio, have done comedy central and mtv and am being inducted into the friars club, but you, you work at Party 105.

VINNY K IS A STAND-UP COMIC, SYNDICATED WRITER AND RADIO HOST, AND CAN BE SEEN DJING AROUND MONTAUK.